Red vs Blue: Symphonian Stories
by Rey'ekk
Summary: Two armies compete for the worst piece of real estate: A box canyon in the middle of nowhere. AU Based off Red vs Blue. I DON'T OWN RED VS. BLUE OR TALES OF SYMPHONIA. THEY BELONG TO ROOSTER TEETH AND NAMCO RESPECTIVELY.
1. The Question and the Delivery

Ok I wanted to try my hand at this and see where this goes. If you haven't heard of Red vs Blue its basically about two teams in a box canyon fighting a civil war. All of them have armor colors thats close to the side that they're on. I want to apologize in advance if the character's seem extremely out of character (which is expected) and i haven't thought of who all's going to be in this story yet.

I do not, or ever will own Tales of Symphonia, Red vs. Blue, or anything affilated with either of them. I don't feel like doing a disclaimer every chapter so yeah.

* * *

The Question and the Delivery

It was another fairly normal day in the canyon of unchanging hot temperature for the Red Team from Tethe'alla. Their commander was to arrive shortly later in the day, leaving Private First Class Sheena Fujibayashi and Private Zelos Wilder to stand guard on top of the base. The only sound was the wind and their breathing, while birds from unknown origin chirped. Nobody could ever find those damn birds.

Sheena took this opportunity to strike up a conversation with the only person there, even if half the time the two couldn't stand one another.

"Hey Zelos."

Zelos glanced up at Sheena, as if he had just woken up from a nap. "Yeah?"

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"

Zelos turned his gaze back to the sky, as if in deep thought. "It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?" He turned his head back to Sheena. "Why are we here?" This time, his body changed positions so his entire self was facing his comrade. "I mean, are we a product of... some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God… watching everything? You know with a plan for us and stuff." Zelos stared out into the canyon once more. "I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night."

"…"

"…"

"What?" Sheena quirked a brow. "I meant, why are we out here, in this canyon?" Sheena folded her arms, watching Zelos turn away, flustered by the misunderstanding.

Zelos was now looking as stupid as ever "Oh, uh… yeah.

"What was all that stuff about God?"

"Uh…hm? Nothing." Zelos quickly retorted.

Sheena began to turn her head away, but then it returned to its previous spot. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Despite the fact Zelos still hadn't turned his back away from Sheena yet, Sheena continued on. "Seriously though man, why are we out here? Far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon, in the middle of nowhere, with no way in or out."

"Mhm."

" I mean the only reason we set up a red base here, is because they have a blue base over there. And the only reason they have a blue base over there, is because we have a red base here."

Zelos finally made eye contact with his partner. "Yeah, that's because we're fighting each other."

"No no, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon." Sheena rolled her eyes. "Whoop de fucking doo."

"What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some angels. Next thing I know Martel blows up all of the Cruxis forces, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere fighting a bunch of Blue guys."

* * *

That was the last bit of conversation Private Emil Castagnier of the Sylvaranti Blue Army bothered to pay attention to through the scope of his rarely used sniper rifle. He didn't even know if the damn thing shot successfully or not. All he did was use the telescope function on it.

Private First Class Lloyd Irving attempted to peek into the scope. "What're they doing?"

Emil glanced up, furrowing his brow and the return of Lloyd's voice. "What?"

"I said what're they doing now?" Lloyd attempted to get a hold of the sniper rifle, before Emil quickly jerked the bulky weaponry away.

"God damn!" Emil cursed, "I'm getting so sick of answering that question!" His eyes darted away from his partner, because he felt if he had another look at him he would get a nice punch in the jaw.

Lloyd's hands quickly moved to his hips. "Hey, you have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick all day."

Emil growled quietly to himself, before slowly returning his eyes to Lloyd. "Okay, okay look. They're just standing there, and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they_ ever_ do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing five minutes ago. So five minutes from_ now_, when you ask me, 'What are they doing?' my answer's gonna be 'They're _still_ just talking, and they're _still_ just standing there!'" Emil quickly and angrily turned himself back to his weapon.

A moment of silence passed, before Lloyd asked, "…What're they talking about?"

Emil felt the rifle crack slightly under his grip. "You know what? I fucking hate you."

* * *

Unaware of the conversation above, Sheena and Zelos continued yammering away in a conversation that didn't end in sudden bickering.

"Talk about a waste of resources" Zelos sighed. "I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent life forms. You know, fight them."

"Yeah, no shit." Sheena said, in one of those rare moments where she became relaxed enough to swear, "That's why they should put us in charge."

Their commander's sharp voice suddenly rang into their ears.

"Ladies!" the tall man born of darkness, Sergeant Kratos Aurion, shouted at his subordinates, "Front and center, on the double!"

"Fuck me," Zelos murmured.

"Yes sir!" came Sheena's response. The two privates used the conveniently placed ramp to slide onto the canyon sand.

"Hurry up ladies; this ain't no ice cream social!" Kratos spat.

"Ice cream social?" Sheena asked confused.

"Stop the pillow-talk, you two." Kratos tilted his head back slightly, in an annoyed fashion, eyebrow quirked. "Anyone want to take a guess, as to why I gathered you out here, today?"

"Um..." Sheena and Zelos took a quick glance at eachother, before Zelos responded, "Um, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?"

A spark of annoyance flared up in the sergeant's eyes before he smiled. "That's exactly it, private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Fujibayashi here..." His face suddenly turned violent, as he screamed, "**IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI**!"

Zelos's eyes widened, not by the emotion, but the volume. Sarge, as they normally called Kratos, often was prone to violent outbursts like that. Sheena was convinced it was old age, but Kratos looked no more than 30. "I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir."

"God dammit private, shut your mouth or else I'll have Fujibayashi slit your throat while you're asleep," Kratos threatened.

"Oh, I'd do it, too," Sheena smiled, gently putting her hand to her holstered knife before shooting a mischievous smile at Zelos.

"I know you would, Fujibayashi… good woman."

"Couple things today, kiddies." Kratos turned to face away from his soldiers. "Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1."

Zelos moaned. "Crap, we're getting a rookie."

"That's right dead man." Kratos smirked. "Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we received the first part of our shipment from Command. Aska... bring up the vehicle."

The robot, manufactured by Kratos himself, pulled up a jeep with a gun turret attached to the back end (with enough room to stand to operate the weapon) over the hilltop.

"Shotgun." Sheena called.

"Shotgun." Zelos but realized he was a little late, "Fuck."

"May I introduce our new light reconnaissance vehicle. Four inch armor plating ...maaag buffer suspension...a mounted machine gunner position with armor-piercing bullets, and total seating for three!" Kratos patted the hood of the vehicle. "Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV!" With pride, the sergeant quickly examined the armor plating. "...I like to call it the Warthog."

Sheena raised her hand slowly. "Why 'Warthog' sir?"

"Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation."

"No, but...why 'Warthog'?" Zelos began, unconvinced by the answer. "I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig."

Kratos glared at his least favorite private. "Say that again."

"I think it looks more like a..." Zelos quickly examined the car. "A puma."

Kratos stopped, thought momentarily, then bit at his lip. "What in God's name is a puma?"

Sheena pretended to mull over this for a second, although she knew damn well what a puma was. "You mean, like the shoe company?"

Zelos groaned. "No, like a puma. It's a big cat, you know, kinda like a lion."

Kratos's glare became harder. "You're making that up."

"I'm telling you it's a real animal!" Zelos shouted.

The sergeant quickly glanced at Sheena. "Fujibayashi, I want you to poison Wilder's next meal."

"Yes sir" was Sheena's response. Zelos slowly turned his head to glare at her, though this went unnoticed by her.

"See these two tow hooks?" Kratos crouched to emphasize his point. "They look like tusks. Now what kind of animal...has tusks?"

"A walrus."

"Didn't I just tell you to stop makin' up animals?" Kratos barked.

* * *

As they had been for the past five or so minutes, Emil and Lloyd were still positioned on their small cliff hideout.

"Hey," Lloyd pointed at the vehicle below, "What is that thing?"

"I don't know, but it looks like uh,… looks like they got some kind of car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it."

"A car? How come they get a car?"

"What are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop."

"You can't pick up chicks in a tank man."

Emil, even though he had calmed down, quickly felt his anger swell up once again. "Oh, you know what, you could bitch about anything, couldn't you. We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up man?"

Lloyd shrugged in response.

"OK, and secondly, how are we gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?"

"...Well what kind of car is it?" Emil aimed his sniper rifle back down to get a good look at it again.

"I don't know, I've never seen a car that looks like that before… like a, uh, a big cat of some kind."

"…What like a puma?"

"Yeah man there you go."

* * *

"So!" Kratos slammed his fist against the hood of the vehicle. "Unless anybody else has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with 'the Warthog'." He took a step closer to Zelos. "How about it, Wilder?"

"No sir, no more suggestions" the red-haired private responded dispassionately.

"Are you sure? How about Bigfoot?"

"That's okay."

"Unicorn?"

"No really, I'm... I'm cool."

"Sasquatch?"

"Leprechaun?" Sheena chimed in.

"Hey, he doesn't need any help..." Zelos grumbled.

"Phoenix!" Kratos suddenly shouted.

"Oh my god..." Zelos had to hold himself back from attaching palm to face in disgust.

"Hey, Fujibayashi. What's the name of that Mexican lizard, eats all the goats?"

"Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir."

"Hey Wilder! Chupathingy, how 'bout that? I like it! Got a ring to it..."

* * *

Like it? Hate it? Read, Review, share with your buddies and thanks. also, no flames.


	2. The Rookies and the Flag

The Rookies and the Flag

* * *

Time passed, as it normally does, at a rather slow pace. Days would feel like weeks, weeks like months, but eventually the appropriate amount of time passed for the newest face to arrive for the Red team. Zelos and Sheena had failed to notice the newcomer coming up the ramp, however, as they were caught in their normal bickering session.

"Hey, that's not exactly what happened!" Sheena yelled, folding her arms.

"Yes it is. You said 'I'm not going to the Latheon Gorge,' and then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod headed for-" said Zelos arguing with the maroon private.

"Excuse me uh, sir? Ma'am?" the new soldier coughed in an attempt make her presence known to the two squabbling ladies, giving both of them a sensation akin to that of a heart attack.

"Huh?" Sheena's brain finally caught up to her ears once she was able to catch her breath and regain her sense of reality.

"Ah crap" Zelos cursed under his breath.

They we're greeted with the sight of a girl with straight red hair that stopped at her midsection and the standard issue red armor usually given to recruits.

"I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number One and speak to whoever's in charge?" The newcomer adjusted her bullet-proof armor.

Zelos shook his head tiredly. "Sorry kid, Sarge is at Command getting orders. Ain't nobody in charge today."

"Actually private, he left me in charge while he's gone." Sheena lightly put her hand over Zelos's face to push him a centimeter or so to the back.

"You are such a kiss-ass!" Zelos yelled.

"Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you, I should-" Sheena cleared her throat, and said in what was supposed to be an attempt to imitate Kratos's voice, "'Get into the Warthog and crush your head like a tomato-can.'"

"That's the worst impression I've ever heard." Zelos pinched the bridge of his nose after hearing the poor imitation.

"Oh fuck off. Okay rookie, what's your story?"

"Private Presea Combatir, reporting for duty. I'm ready to fight some angels." The rookie pulled her newly acquired SMG out and stood at attention looking focused.

Zelos and Sheena looked at each other for a second before the former sighed. "OK, Couple things here, rookie. First off, Private Presea? I think someone needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?"

"Presea is my first name and this is the standard issue red. I even dyed my hair red to show my commitment." Presea said, lightly touching and playing with her hair.

"Yeah, I know. About the armor, not the hair. Listen new girl. Only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor: officers and recruits. And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer," Zelos explained.

"But, she's wearing red armor…" the rookie whimpered, pointing to Sheena.

"No, my armor is MAROON. YOUR armor is red. There's a huge difference you moron."

"Well, how do I get a different color armor?"

Sheena rolled her eyes. "God, I bet the Blues don't have to deal with this kind of crap."

* * *

The Blues, however, were too preoccupied with admiring their new tank to even deal with their rookie.

"So I say to the guy, 'How're you gonna get the tank down to the canyon?' And he goes, 'I'll just put it on the ship' and I go, 'if you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?' the rookie, Private Genis Sage, rambled on with a playful smile.

"Hey kid" Lloyd uttered flatly.

"Yeah?"

"You're ruining the moment. Shut up."

"Oh. Okay. You got it man!"

"You know what?" Emil smiled, which was a rare moment indeed, "I could blow up the whole God damn world with this thing."

* * *

"Okay, Presea right? Here's the deal," Sheena moved her hands to her hips. "We've got a very important mission for you. You think you can handle it?"

"Absolutely!" Presea nodded eagerly.

"We need you to go down to the store, and get two quarts of Elbow Grease."

Zelos had to prevent himself from smiling. He knew this gag. "Yeah and um, pick up some headlight fluid for the Puma too."

"The what?"

"He means the Warthog," Sheena interjected.

"Rookie, you do know where the store is, right?" Zelos asked.

"What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. Sure no problem." Presea nodded once more after mulling over it for a split second.

"Well, get going then!" Sheena waved her hand in a "shoo, shoo" manner.

Presea began to make her way to the opposite side of the base, which was actually part of the canyon.

"Other way!"

Presea blanked out, before fleeing, flustered. "I-I knew that. I just got turned around, that's all!"

As she disappeared from view, the two other soldiers watched with smiles.

"How long do you think," Sheena laughed, "Until she figures out there's no store?"

"I say, at least a week."

In the middle of the canyon, Presea stopped to cool off. She shook her head. "Elbow Grease, seriously how stupid do they think I am?" She sighed, wiping sweat from her forehead. "Once I get back with that Headlight Fluid, I'm so gonna be talking to the Sergeant."

* * *

"You know what?" Lloyd smiled. "Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick up chicks with this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece."

"Oh, man. Do you hear yourself talk? What're you gonna do with two chicks?"

"Castagnier, women are like Voltron. The more you can hook up the better it gets."

* * *

"Hey do you think we were too mean to the kid?" Sheena sighed, resting her head on her chin.

"Nah, we went through hazing when we first started out too. It's like tradition. Besides, she'll probably just wander around for a few hours. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Yeah i guess you're right."

Presea spotted what she thought was the store over the last hill. She smiled, feeling giddy and accomplished.

"Finally, there it is." she squealed, beginning to run over. "OH SWEET, THEY SELL TANKS!

* * *

"Yeah, I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh..." Emil smiled and looked off to the side, in an odd, whimsical fashion. "I've actually got a girl back home."

"Oh yeah" Lloyd grinned. "Girlfriend or wife?"

"No, man, she's just my girlfriend you know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out… ah, you know how it works." Emil still smiled, thinking about his girl.

"You gonna marry her when you get back?"

"I'm not gonna get married." Genis said while smirking. "My dad always says 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

_He shouldn't have said that._ Lloyd thought to himself.

"Hey rookie! Did you just call my girlfriend a cow?"

"No, I think he called her a slut!" Lloyd interjected.

Genis instantly became nervous and stuttered, "No wait I-"

"I'll tell you what newb, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a way more important job for you to do."

Genis nervously mumbled, "Great."

"See, we've got this General.

Lloyd knew that Emil was pissed off so he played along to make sure the rookie didn't get hurt or himself for that matter, "Right, the General guy."

"…who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by."

"When's he coming by?"

"Hell if we ever know," Lloyd shrugged. "Could be today, could be a week from now."

"Hold on. You want me to stand at attention for a week?" Genis asked surprised. Emil started to walk slowly and circle Genis as he talked.

"You don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job in the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag."

Genis couldn't help but become confused. "What's so important about the flag?"

"Don't they teach you guys anything in training anymore?" Emil spat.

"We weren't told anything about a flag. Why's the flag important?"

"Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's..." Knowing this wasn't really working, Emil decided to do some damage control. "Irving, you tell him why the flag is so important."

"It's..." Lloyd scratched the backed of his head. "It's complicated. It's blue, we're blue..."

"It's just important, okay, trust us. So when the General comes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag. So just...go in there, you know, very far away from us, and wait." Emil ordered.

Genis, a bit disheartened, turned to head for the base. "...wait, how will I know when I see the General?"

"There's only three of us out here, rookie. It's gonna be the one that doesn't look like us." Lloyd grumbled.

"Now get in there, and don't come back out!" Emil shouted. He rubbed his temples before turning to Lloyd. "Man, that guy is dumber than you are."

"You mean he's dumber than you are."

"Wow, Irving, that was an awesome comeback."

Genis poked his head from the base. "Uh, mister Castagnier? Sir?"

Emil's pistol made a slight crunching noise. " Oh My god...WHAT? Irving, I swear, I'm gonna kill him."

"I-I'm sorry for calling your girlfriend a slut…"

"**ROOKIE! SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP AND GET IN THERE! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY! GOD!**"

Lloyd turned his head so that Emil would notice him laughing, "Uh-huh huh huh huh"

Unfortunately Emil did notice. "Irving, are you laughing at me?"

"Ah, excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?" Presea, emerging from the hillside, was about to tap Emil on the shoulder.

"Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside, I... I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!"

"Wait! Wh-what did I do?"

"One..."

"Aw, come on, gimme a break."

"TWO!"

"Fine." she scurried into the base, finding the lone Genis doodling on the concrete with chalk.

"Wow… you got here fast!" Genis smiled.

"God, why are people so freakin' rude in this canyon?" Presea pouted.

"I-I'm not miss, though i was told you be a 'he'. Well what can I help you with?"

"Finally, someone with a little respect! And I'm sure I'm 100% girl"

"Yes! I assume you're here because of this?"

Presea poked at the flag. "Wait, is this all you have?"

"There's all of our personal belongings underground, but..."

"No way! Shit, no Elbow Grease?"

"Nope."

"No headlight fluid?"

"Sorry, we've just got this flag."

"Well, I guess I can't leave empty-handed..." Presea plucked the flag from its placeholder. "Is it cool if I take this?"

"Sure…that makes sense. I guess." Genis flashed a thumbs-up before she fled the base.

As she walked out of Blue base, Presea silently mumbled to herself, "Man...they're gonna be so mad when I come back with just this stupid flag."

* * *

"Well, enough gabbing out of us, let's take this bad boy out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Irving."

"Uh...dude, I can't drive that thing."

"You're telling me you're not Armor Certified?"

"Armor Certi- I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle, let alone drive a tank. Don't you know how to drive it?"

"No!" Emil grabbed at his forehead. "Holy crap, WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY?"

Genis once more poked his head from the base's entrance. "Hey just to let you know! The General stopped by and picked up the flag!"

Emil began to grumble incoherently before shouting "Yeah. Okay. Whatever moron!" He then turned back to Lloyd. "Why would they give us a tank if nobody knows how to drive the damn thi...wait a second… what did he just say?"


	3. Good Sight, Bad Aim, Ugly Situation

Chapter 3

Good Sight, Bad Aim, Ugly Situation (for the blues)

The soldiers of the Blue army had migrated to the top of their base. Emil was perched with his sniper rifle, serving as a telescope, while the other two soldiers waited for their De Facto leader to spot the flag snatcher.

Except, the flag snatcher didn't exactly snatch the flag.

"OK, so let me get this straight. You GAVE this person our flag." Emil angrily stated to Genis.

"Um...is that bad?" Genis asked nervously.

"Bad?" Emil pushed his hair out his eye and glared toward Genis. "Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him **blow up the whole goddamn base?****!**"

"I see him!" Lloyd shouted, pointing at the figure in the distance. Emil adjusted his sniper rifle, getting a good look at the red armored soldier wandering through the cliffs.

"I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs..."

Lloyd scoffed. "He must be one sneaky son of a bitch."

* * *

Presea whimpered. She soon realized she had no idea as to where she was going.

"Man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?"

* * *

"Shit...Hey Irving, look at his armor. It's red."

"Fuck that means it's their Sergeant. Wait a minute." Lloyd got a better look at the figure. "Are you sure? That person looks too short to be him."

"I hear some of the commanding officers have some sort of disguise equipment meant to alter their appearance. I guess he had one," Emil grumbled. "Whatever. At least we know how he got by our defenses."

"Um...actually, they just came through the back door where you guys were standing..."

"Whatever. Let's take him out!" Lloyd grinned, pointing once again at the wandering Presea.

"Roger that." Emil smirked. "Say goodnight, Sarge." He fired four shots-proving to himself that yes, the sniper rifle DID work. Though his aim left alot to be desired. All of his shots went slightly left of where the target was. This prompted a silence among the group.

"DAMN IT..." Emil growled. Finding Lloyd staring at him, Emil had to return the gaze. "What?"

"You're not very good with that thing are you?"

* * *

Presea wasn't prepared for the shots, which made her very thankful that whoever fired them was a lousy shot. The one closest to her she just needed to move her foot to avoid. "Son of a-hey! It's me!" She waved her arms in the air. "Don't shoot me! I bought the flag, remember? Hey!"

* * *

"Great, now we're being taunted!" Lloyd shook his cried.

"Ah, fuck it. That's it. Rookie, you stay here. Irving and I are going to head through the teleporter, and we'll cut him off at the pass."

"Yes, sir!" Genis saluted.

"Irving, you ready to go?"

"I'm not going through that thing." Emil rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Dude, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it didn't work?"

"Oh I don't know. Why would they give us a tank that nobody can drive? I don't trust that thing."

"Oh don't be a baby. Besides, we already tested the teleporter, remember?"

"We threw rocks through it!"

"Yeah, so? They came out the other side. That means it works."

"Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff."

"Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about." Emil scoffed. "You're afraid of a little black stuff."

"...yes. I am. I am afraid of a little black stuff."

Emil sighed. "Irving, I almost hate to do this to you." He raised his pistol and pulled the top back to show it was loaded and aimed at Lloyd's head.

"No way you wouldn't!"

"OK, I look at it this way," Emil's eyes narrowed as he took on a menacing tone. "Either A, we go through there, and get back the flag, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you." He smirked. "Either way? I win."

Lloyd sighed with defeat and tried one last time to convince Emil to reconsider. "...for the record, I want you to know...rocks aren't people."

"Duly noted." Emil pointed his free hand toward the teleporter "Now get in there."

"Alright." Lloyd prepared himself to go. "ONE... TWO... THREE!" He then ran into the teleporter and dissolved into a green light.

Although the other two fully anticipated their teammate to emerge from the other side, five seconds passed, then fifteen, then thirty, and finally a whole minute-with no sign of Lloyd at all.

"...huh...he didn't come out the other side..." Genis murmured.

"Yeeeeaaaaah, you know what, i've changed my mind about the teleporter." Emil leaped from the top of the base after handing the sniper rifle to his fellow soldier, and began to charge across the canyon. "Stay here, rookie! I'll be back with the flag!"

* * *

"What are you talking about?" Sheena closed her eyes in annoyance. "I didn't hear a single shot."

Zelos sighed. "I'm telling you, it was four shots! Like, bam bam bam."

"...wait that's only three shots."

"Bam." Zelos raised his team's own sniper rifle. "Wait a second. We've got a blue guy on the move out there."

"Where's he headed?"

"Wait-there's Combatir-and she's got something. It looks like..." He noticed that it was the blue team flag then slowly turned toward the maroon soldier.

"Sheena, get the Warthog."

"You mean the Puma?" Sheena smiled deviously.

"Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war."

* * *

Freeze!" Emil drew his weapon when he caught up to the flag's carrier.

The Red Private jumped in surprised and turned to her attacker. "Hey why were you shooting at me?" Presea yelled. "You could have hit me, you asshole!"

"Shut it." Emil kept a firm grip on his firearm. "Don't play stupid with me, Sergeant Aurion. I know who you are. We've been spying on you for three weeks."

"Three weeks? Ok first off, my name's not Aurion, it's Combatir. Secondly, I just got here two hours ago. Thirdly, I'm just a private. and lastly," Presea moved the hair from her face to show feminine figures. "I'm a girl!"

"Wait, you really AREN'T the Sergeant! Even with disguising equipment it can't alter your appearance to make you a girl and change your voice and height to make you look and sound like a shrimp."

"HEY!"

"If you're a Private, then how did you manage to steal our flag?"

"Steal?" Presea's eyes widened. "What the hell are you talking abo-" Her sentence was cut off by the arrival of the charred Lloyd, flying out of the teleporter and onto the unsuspecting Presea.

"WHOA!"

"HOLY SHIT!" The sudden arrival caused the Blue soldier to drop his weapon.

"Who the-GET OFF ME!" Presea screamed, working her way out from under the well-endowed Lloyd. It took a minute before Emil recognized Lloyd past the odd black stuff.

"Wait a second, Irving? Is that you?"

"What the-hey! How'd you get here ahead of me?" Lloyd shouted.

"Damn it!" Presea pouted, wiping the debris from her armor. "What's that black shit on your armor?"

The new arrival raised his weapon. "Freeze, Sarge!"

"For God's sake, I'm not the Sergeant. I'm still just a Private!"

"...wait. The Sarge is still just a Private?" The fantasy gears began turning in Lloyd's head. One thought attached onto another, before Lloyd's brain reached a certain perfectly reasonable conclusion.

"Oh. My. God. The teleporter sent me back in time!"

* * *

"Hey, Aska, we need to take the jeep," Zelos called to the robot, planting himself on the driver's seat. This model didn't need keys to run, so with a couple simple shifts of gears and pressed buttons the vehicle fired up, releasing the most annoying country polka music the two Reds had ever heard in their 20-something years of living.

Sheena rose up and onto the back of the Warthog, gripping onto the trigger for the jeep's built-in machine gun turret. "Let's roll. Don't worry, Aska, she'll come back in one piece."

Aska bowed, stepping out of the way.

Zelos glanced back at Sheena. "How do you turn off the radio in this thing?"

"Don't ask me."

* * *

Emil looked in a mixture of confusion, annoyance, and unbelievability at his comrade's ridiculous theory. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you." Lloyd gripped onto Emil's shoulders. "Some time in your future I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this kid here, he gets promoted to Sergeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them."

"Umm, Irving."

"And they get this new jeep, and I'm like 'You can't pick up chicks in a tank!'"

"Irving." Emil repeats a little bit louder.

"I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a Sergeant, and then one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals a flag while we're distracted!"

Presea looks at Lloyd like he's insane. _Is he retarded or something?_

"**IRVING!** Shut the hell up. You haven't gone back in time. This is the dumb ass who stole our flag."

"Hey!"

"Can it, Red. This kid isn't the Sergeant. No equipment is advanced enough to change your entire body type to look like the opposite sex. She's a girl. She just happens to have the same armor color. She got in somehow, and got our fla.." He then starts to hear very annoying music. "For God's sakes, WHAT IS THAT MUSIC?"

The jeep ascended over one of the hills, skyrocketing into the air and making a nice skid mark on the little bits of grass through the off landing. Zelos laughed triumphantly-making Emil make an immediate break for it. "Son of a bitch! RUN!"

"Whoa!" Lloyd panicked, trailing behind. "Hey, Castagnier, the jeep followed me back in time!"

Emil gripped onto Lloyd's arm tight enough to cut off circulation. "Shut the hell up and run!"

The closest location was behind a nicely-sized rock, providing decent amount of cover for both of the Blue soldiers from the Red's stream of bullets.

Sheena took it upon herself to take care of the shooting with the Turret of Unlimited Bullets, accompanied by trash-talking it seems she had saved up for longer than what was healthy, prompting Zelos to be the one to ask Presea just what the fuck was up with the situation.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"No clue. Everybody here is absolutely insane!"

"It tends to happen. How'd you get the flag?"

"...I asked for it?" Zelos eyes widened in surprise.

"That worked?"

"...is it not supposed to?"

"Well, we never thought to try that...look, just take the flag to the base. We'll explain there!"

"Can't you explain now?"

"Look, there's no time, just go!"

"Okay!" Presea began to dart eastward.

"Back to our base dumb ass!"

"Sorry, I still don't know the place!"

* * *

Genis's view was only through the sniper rifle Emil had left behind. The 10x zoom gave the clearest picture of the clusterfuck that was the battle; almost like he was there, except he wasn't, thankfully, actually there.

"Oh man...this is bad..." He adjusted the weapon to inspect the Red's weapon. "Man that Jeep's got a huge gun!" An idea struck him, and he set down the rifle. "Stay here. Tank. Stay here. Tank. Oh screw it!" He hurried down the ramp and towards the Blue's brand-new weapon.

* * *

Sheena continued to shoot bullets at the rock that Lloyd and Emil we're taking cover behind. Completely pinned down, they couldn't move without taking a million bullets to the face from a giant turret machine gun.

"Let's wait here...that thing's gotta run out of bullets sometime..." Emil muttered.


	4. Tanks and Explosions

Chapter 4

Tanks and Explosions

Half an hour had passed with no other real event besides the canyon wall near the hiding place of Emil and Lloyd being sprayed with bullets, and it didn't seem to want to run out any time soon.

"My god..." Emil exhaled with annoyance. "Doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?"

"You know, in hindsight, we really should have brought the tank."

"Irving, think for a second. What good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it?"

Lloyd rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a _much_ better strategy."

"Well, yeah, but..." Emil slumped onto the ground. "Oh man, I guess I gotta give that one to ya."

* * *

Genis managed to pop the hatch of the tank open after a half an hour of tinkering. The poor rookie wasn't exactly adept at working with technology, but the tank canopy did open, and he entered and lowered himself onto the seat. The tank's automatic driver detection system activated, and the buttons within the tank lit up.

"Hello, and thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank," the voice cooed. It was rather odd, a tank being comforting. "You may call me Luna."

"Hello...Luna...big…tank-lady."

"Would you like me to run the tutorial program?"

"Oh!" Eager to actually learn something the others on his squad didn't already know, he nodded. "That'd be nice. Thank you!"

"Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of the Scorpion class tank. Let's begin with some driving." The tank began to move through the canyon on its own.

"Okay," Genis smiled, confident in himself that he could save him team with the help of the very nice tank-lady. He clenched his fists in anticipation.

* * *

"Sheena...HEY! SHEENA!" The bullet stream was earsplitting in volume, which left Sheena temporarily deaf once she stopped shooting. "Man, that thing is loud."

"WHAT?"

"Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get 'em out."

"OKAY."

"Keep it down, Sheena! Let's go before your loud mouth helps them figure out what's going on."

It hadn't even been five minutes before Genis had Luna backed up onto a tall rock. The wheels twisted and spun in a futile attempt to back the tank up.

"Now that you've mastered driving the M808V, let's move onto some of the safety features."

"No, wait! Go back! Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?" Genis wailed, slamming one pedal after another with high hopes of escaping the rock's trap.

* * *

"Psst," Emil whispered, "Hey, they stopped firing."

"...why are you whispering?"

"...um...I don't know."

* * *

Zelos made his way to the foot of a cliff before reaching the conclusion that it wouldn't be the best means of reaching the Blues. "Crap, I don't think we're gonna be able to get around this way..."

"Tell me again, uh, why did we get out of the jeep?"

Unbeknowest to them, the tank had steered away from the rock and parked itself behind the Reds.

"Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day!"

"Well at least it was fun!"

"You call me the dumbass...HOLY CRAP!." It was about then Zelos had noticed the gargantuan tank. "What in god's name is that thing?" Sheena turned around and noticed the tank aiming at them and froze.

* * *

"Irving, don't be stupid," Emil muttered. "They're just trying to draw us out."

"No they're not man, look. They left the jeep. They're gone."

"...I don't know about this, it's seems kinda fishy, but...oh, screw it. Let's jack it."

* * *

"Hold still-I don't think it sees us..."

The tanks cannon constantly shifted between looking at the two paralyzed reds. From Zelos to Sheena, then back to Zelos.  
"Uh, Sheena...why is it just sitting there?" Zelos squeaked, crouching beside Sheena.

"Just trying to mess with our heads. Let's get back to the Warthog!"

"This tank is equipped with an auto-fire sequence that can be activated by pressing the auto-fire button." As Luna continued to speak, Genis tried his damnedest to find the auto-fire button.

"Come on. Let's go on three. One-" Sheena started.

"Wait. On three? Or three then go?"

"On three. It's always faster to go on three."

"Got it. On three"

"HERE!" Genis found the auto-fire button and activated the target search.

* * *

"I'm going for the jeep...cover me." Emil skidded down the cliff-side.

* * *

"One..."

"Target acquired."

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit..." Zelos fled from the scene.

"Two..."

"Target locked."

"Three!" Sheena spotted Zelos already halfway towards the direction of the Warthog. "Oh, you back-stabbing cock-bite!"

"Firing man cannon." The gun's turret spat out a miniature missle, striking the jeep and causing a huge explosion.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Sheena screamed.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Zelos echoed.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Emil yelled, as he getting close to the jeep as it was shot. Luna fired again, then thrice more, causing the reds to take cover.

Emil darted back up the canyon side, panting as he huddled behind the rock.

"Hey, Castagnier, the jeep blew up."

"No kidding," Emil grimmaced. "Thanks for the update, Irving. Come on, let's get out of here."

* * *

Zelos and Sheena were scared shitless. Luna continued to fire at the rock they were hiding behind.

"Hey I have a great idea," Sheena said, immitating Zelos, "Let's get out of the jeep and sneak around the back of the rock! GREAT PLAN YOU IDIOT!"

"All targets eliminated," Luna announced. "Acquiring new target." Emil glanced out to see what caused the explosion and saw the tank they had just gotten, with GENIS of all people behind the wheel.

"Hey, Irving! Look! It's the rookie! And he brought the tank to scare off the Reds!"

"What?" Lloyd poked his head out from behind the rock on the cliff. "Whoa! No way!"

"Hey, rookie! Good job man! " Emil hollered, assuming that Genis could hear. "Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?"

"New target acquired," the tank stated, her turret spun around to point at Emil.

"Wait, that's not a target, that's Castagnier!"

"Yeah, it's me Castagnier! What's going on, man?"

"Target locked."

"No! No!" Genis screamed. "Target unlock! Unlock! Please help me, nice lady!"

"Firing main cannon."

"Uh-oh..." came Genis.

"Uh-oh..." came Lloyd.

"What?" Emil's brain clicked. "Oh son of a-"

Everything happened in a blur. The tank discharged, slamming a round into Emil's stomach. The force of the blast sent him sprawling high into the air, hitting the top of the cliff and sent him spinning down back onto the ledge.

"Holy fuck! Holy shit!" Lloyd sprung over the rock to aid the gushing-with-blood Emil. "Are you okay, Castagnier? Talk to me man!" Lloyd glared at the rookie in the tank. "YOU SHOT CASTAGNIER YOU TEAM-KILLING FUCKTARD!"

"Auto-fire sequence deactivated."

Genis slumped.

"Irving...Ir...ving..."

"Castagnier!" Lloyd propped Emil against the cliff wall. "It's going to be okay! Just hold on! I'm going to try to-"

"No...ah...I'm...I'm not gonna make it..." Emil coughed, squirting blood from his mouth. "Listen...there's something...I need to tell you..."

"What? Castagnier, what is it?"

"I want you to know..." The dying soldier's hair slid from his face in an almost symbolic fashion completely opposite of the next words to come out of his mouth. "I always...I always hated you. I always hated you the most."

"I know you did man...I know you did..." Lloyd laid Emil with his back to the ground. "Now hurry up and die, you prick." He said to his dying comrade.

"...okay..." Emil's last sound was a cough before the last bit of his consciousness slipped from his hands. Emil Castagnier was dead.


	5. The Freelancer

Chapter 5

The Freelancer

It was only a mere few minutes before the two Reds had finally reached the top of their base. The situation had moved from the center of the canyon to close to the Red's base, making the retreat simple and easy. Presea was waiting with the captured flag on top of the base.

"What the hell? What happened?" she asked.

"Big...tank...shooting..." Zelos panted, wiping sweat and bangs from his forehead. "Whoooh!"

Sheena glared down at the worn-out soldier. "Damn man. We only ran, like, three hundred feet. You are really out of shape."

"Fuck...you..."

"Where's the car?" Presea inquired upon noticing the jeep had disappeared.

"General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind," Sheena spat.

"Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up," Zelos glared back.

"You lost the jeep?" Presea's eyebrows curved in worry. "Man...Aska's gonna be pissed. Where is it?"

As if on cue, there was the sound of an explosion, possibly from the tank, and the car in question flipped onto the top of the base.

"What the hell?" Zelos took a step back. This was followed by another tank blast. "Son of a bitch!"

"Holy crap! What is that thing?" Presea screamed.

"That's the tank!"

The tank fired yet again.

"Hey, uh...Wilder, you uh...you wanna hold the flag for a bit?"

"Keep that thing away from me!"

* * *

"Why do you keep firing at the jeep?" Lloyd queried, figuring leaning up against a firing tank was not in the least partially suicidal.

"Because it's locked on!" the rookie cried back.

"Well, unlock it."

"Last time I unlocked it, I KILLED CASTAGNIER!"

"...oh, right. Keep shooting the jeep then."

* * *

"I hate to be the one to point this out..." Presea gulped. "...but I think we're screwed!"

The tank didn't seem to want to stop firing at any point in the near future.

"Yeah..." Sheena nodded. "I have to agree with the rookie on this one."

The next thing the three soldiers knew, their earpieces began to buzz and crackle.

"Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Come in, Blood Gulch Outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sergeant Aurion. Do you read?"

"Oh my god, Sarge, is that you?" Zelos gasped, being happy for the first time in his life to hear the Sarge's voice.

"Roger that, Private. I am currently in-bound to your position from Command via Air Transport."

"Sir, this is Fujibayashi," stated Sheena.

"Hello, Fujibayashi. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone."

"...actually..." Zelos interrupted, "Things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived, and somehow she managed to infiltrate the blue base, and now we have their flag, the Warthog is damaged, one of the Blues is dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base!"

The radio crackled for one beat, then two beats, before Kratos said, "Am I talking to the right base?"

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE HERE!" Zelos screeched.

"Well then hold tight, kiddies. I think I gotta solution to your little tank problem." The next thing the Reds see is a shadow of the ship Kratos is in start to drop bombs in the field.

* * *

Lloyd was the first to hear the sound of the airplane flying up above.

"Hey uh, Sage. You might wanna get out of the tank. Like, right now!" Lloyd yelled, calling the rookie by name for the first time since he got here.

"I can't figure out how to get this damn thing open!" Genis wailed, pounding on buttons that activated random things, including night vision.

"Well hurry up!"

Missiles began to get closer and closer at this point, causing panic from both of the Blues. Lloyd made a break for it, not even caring if the rookie decided to join Emil in the afterlife.

"Okay, open the door, uh, I-Luna, will you please open the door?"

A budge finally released the driver canopy, and Genis darted out like a bat straight out of hell. "Driver canopy open. Thank you for using the M808V main battle ta-"

Sadly, Luna's words were left unfinished before the last missile collided with her and made enough fireworks to make sure nobody wanted to see them even when the Fourth of July rolled in.

"Oh crap oh crap oh crap running running running-man that was close!" Genis shouted, clapping a hand on Lloyd's shoulder when the two caught up.

"Look at the tank, though."

"I'm scared, Maxwell...will I dream?" Luna's voice deepened as a sign of her impending shutdown. "Frieeenndss..."

"LUNA! NOOOO!" Genis bawled in a fit of melodrama.

"What? No! Luna! Luna! Wait... who's Luna?"

Genis sniffled. "Luna was the lady in the tank...she was my friend..."

"Oh dude! I knew you could pick up chicks with a tank!"

Without much trouble, the Blues reached their base and took this downtime to not only inform Command of the situation, but for Lloyd to have Genis scrub his clothes (including hand-washing the bulletproof armor). At that moment Lloyd stood with his headset.

"Now you sure you got everything off of me?" Lloyd asked Genis before making the call.

"Yep. Your armor's all clean." Genis replied as he tossed a used washcloth into the base.

"Come in, Blue Command. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me?"

A male voice responded from Command. "This is Botta of Blue Command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha."

"Hey, Botta! We need help."

"Roger that, Blood Gulch! What's up?"

"I don't know what the technical military term for it is-but uh-we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men!"

An awkward silence followed for about 5 seconds.

"...what?"

"Dude, how long have you guys been down there?" Botta asked suspiciously.

"Oh fuck you-we need men to help us!"

"Phew. OK roger that. Oh yeah, did you get the tank we sent?"

"Yeah, that got blown up too."

"Wow, sucks to be you."

"Yeah, we know," Lloyd groaned.

"Alright, kiddies, here's what I can do. The nearest Blue forces can be there in sixteen days, or-"

"**Sixteen days****?**Dude, that's over two weeks!"

"I wasn't done yet. Look, like I was saying, it was either _that_or I can hire a nearby Freelancer and get them there within a few hours."

Genis looked at Lloyd and had to go with the quicker idea. "I like the 'in an hour' one."

"Me too." Lloyd nodded. "Roger that, Botta, we prefer the quicker solution."

"10-4 Blood Gulch, we will contact Freelancer Lu, and have 'em there, post-haste. Command out." The radio clicked off.

"Whoever he is, he better be able to fix the tank."

"Hey, Irving? What's a Freelancer?" Genis asked.

"Freelancers are independent, they're not Red or blue. They're just guns for hire, who'll fight for whoever has the most money."

"Oh, like a mercenary!" Genis smiled, nodding eagerly.

"Right, or like your mom, when the rent's due."

It took a second for Genis to catch onto the humor. "...Oh, that's funny."

"Yeah? You didn't think that was too obvious?"

"No, no, no, it was good. Really."

An eerie chill crept through the area in and around the base.

"Irving...Irrrrrviinnnng..."

Both soldiers' heads snapped in the direction of the ominous breeze.

"Who the hell are you?" Lloyd screamed.

"I am the ghost of Castagnier...and Iiii've come back with a waaarniiiiing..."

"You're not Castagnier!" Genis said. "He had blue armor and blonde hair. You're all white."

"Rookie, shut up. I'm a freakin' ghost. Have you ever seen a blonde-haired blue ghost before?" the ghost said in a voice that was, without a doubt, Emil's.

"Yeah, it's definitely him," Lloyd casually laughed.

"Thanks a lot, now I gotta start over again..." Emil cleared his throat. "Irving...Irrrrrviinnnng...I've come back with a waaaarning..."

"Do you _really_need to do the voice?"

"No offense, Castagnier, but it's annoying even me, and that's saying something."

Emil rolled his eyes. "Fine, I was having fun, but whatever..."

"What, Mister Anti-Fun is actually going against his very existence? What has the world come to?" Lloyd smiled.

"Fuck you man. Okay, here's the deal. I'm here to warn you about Lu. Don't let-"

"Oh! What's the warning?" Genis asked, a little too excited for the subject matter.

"Shut up for one second and I'll tell you!"

"Sorry..."

"Seriously, man, I mean, I'm coming back from the great beyond here. You think this is easy? It's not. It's not like I just, you know, just pop in and out whenever I feel like it, it takes a lot of concentration."

"Sorry..."

"I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with, but now I come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man!" Emil exhaled, trying to control his bouts of anger. "Okay. here's the deal."

"Is this the warning?"

Emil did his signature death glare towards the rookie. "Alright, that's it, I swear to God, Sage, your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you."

"I thought being here took concentration!" Genis protested.

"Look, Sage, you're even starting to bug me," Lloyd stated.

"Alright, look. Irving, you remember how I told you I was stationed on Flanoir Island before they put me in this place, right?"

"No."

"Flanoir Island. That's the place where it's always snowing, right?"

"Mmhm."

"Cool! What was that like?"

"Ummm...it was cold?"

"That's it? Just cold?"

"What do you want from me, a poem? It's a place entirely comprised of ice and snow. It's really, fuckin', cold."

Lloyd sighed. "Can you just let him talk?"

"Thanks, Irving. Alright...well, one day when I was there, everything was just like normal. I remember, I was out on patrol with my partner Dida. That Dida was a real good kid, everybody liked him."

"Hey Castagnier, was I a good kid?" Lloyd grinned.

"Irving, don't get jealous man, just listen to the story, okay? Like I said, guys were hanging around, waitin' for some action, bitching about the cold..."

_"Man, it's fucking cold," one of the soldiers complained._

_"I hope we get some action."_

"Anyway, Dida was in the middle of telling me all about his girlfriend back home."

_"Yep, as soon as I get back...I'm gonna get down on one knee and ask his to marry me." Dida smiled, letting the chilly breeze blow back his hair._

"And that's when Lu showed up. ...Private Moll was the first to go. He was halfway across the base when all of a sudden he just started screaming bloody murder."

_Emil couldn't even respond to Dida's comment before Private Mickey began to scream. "**Bloody murder, bloody murder**!"_

_The soldiers readied themselves for an intense fight. There were five soldiers stationed on Flanoir Island-they could take a mysterious black-armored freelancer, right?_

_But no. As soon as Mickey was down, the other two were next, both dying the same way._

_Emil and Dida began to fire rapidly before Freelancer Lu had suddenly appeared behind them._

"Whole thing was over before it even started. Poor Dida was the last one to go. Lu walked up to him, pulled Dida's skull right out of his head and beat him to death with it."

"...whoa, wait. How do you beat someone to death with their own skull?" Lloyd quirked a brow. "That doesn't seem physically possible!"

"That's exactly what Dida kept screaming!"

_"This doesn't seem physically possible!" Dida shouted for the fifth time, before collapsing in his own blood._

_Lu discarded the skull before leaving as quickly as he came._

"Bottom line is...these freelancers are bad news. Lu's one of the worst."

"If he's such a badass, why didn't he kill you?"

"...tell you the truth, I don't know why I wasn't killed that day. Could've killed me at any point. But maybe it's because we've run in to each other once before."

Lloyd leaned in curiously. "Where?"

"You uh, you guys remember that girl I told you about back home? Well, let's just say that Lu is the real reason why we never got married." Emil's already ghostly presence began to dissolve. "Guys, I'm fading fast and I don't know when I'll be back. Just listen to my warning: don't let Lu get involved here.

"Got it."

"I mean it Irving. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it." Emil shut his eyes, letting himself fade away.

"So that must be it then. Castagnier and Lu were after the same girl."

"I told you his girlfriend was a slut."

The freelancer, coated from head to toe in black armor, stepped onto the dirt without uttering a sound.


	6. Surprise, Surprise

Chapter 6

Surprise, Surprise

"And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but, uh, well that's when the tank showed up and, shit just started blowin' up. I don't know." Zelos said, explaining the events of the last hour to Kratos while he and Aska worked on the damaged jeep.

Kratos let out a long, pissed off sigh. "Wilder, do you have any Godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?" he asked, pointing to the wreaked Warthog that Aska was sitting where the engine used to be, fixing the fuel line.

"Ah, I don't know, what like uh, ten, ten twenty, twenty-five gald, maybe? Uh, you, you're gonna kill me now aren't you?"

Kratos smiled and nodded his head. "Tell you what, Wilder, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten second head start here before I let Aska do anything he wants to you." he said. Aska climbed out of the wreak and stood next to Sarge, cracking his fists.

"Guys, I just want you to know. I'm really, really sorry here and..." Wilder started to say, but stopped when Aska pulled out a handgun. Kratos smiled an evil smile.

"Five Derris-Kharlan. Six Derris-Kharlan." he started counting as he pulled out his own handgun and loaded it.

Zelos slowly started to back away. "Okay uh, I guess I better get going then." he said. Aska and Sarge looked at each other, nodded, and started to fire.

"Hey guys, that's not funny. Somebody could get hurt here!"

* * *

"That's basically it sir, they have five guys over there and a big jeep." Lloyd informed the newly-arrived Freelancer.

"And your flag." said Lu in a deep voice, reloading his assult rifle.

"Right, that too." admitted Lloyd, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. Suddenly, Lu grabbed a grenade and threw it at his target.

"Uh, hey, Lu? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers for target practice here." Lloyd told Lu, hoping he would stop. Genis is frozen with bullet holes surrounding him, but miraculously, he was untouched.

"I'm scared." whimpered Genis. Lu then started to examine his weapons and tweak the sights if necessary.

"So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the Special Forces at some point?" Lloyd asked the freelancer. Lu simply ignores the Blue, simply switching to his pistol to zero it in.

"Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black because I got this stuff all over it from th-" Lloyd started to say to Lu, but Lu just holstered his pistol and lept the ten feet from the base roof to the ground and started to walk off.

"Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later." Lloyd said.

"I don't think he likes you." Genis whispered to Lloyd.

"Thanks." Lloyd said with irritation at the new guy. The two of them ran up to the edge of the base.

"Where are you going?" Lloyd asked the receding figure. Lu pointed to the distant Red Base.

"Red base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back." he said.

"Uh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans... porter..." Genis said to the receding figure.

* * *

"So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because _somebody_ didn't believe in it." Zelos told Sheena and Presea, even though Sheena knew he was bluffing.

"Bullshit. He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges."

"That's bullshit too, cause you're the only one that calls me a retarded monkey." Zelos retorted.

"Hey guys, since I captured the flag, do you think they'll give me my own color armor now?" Presea asked them.

"What do you mean 'captured'? You thought you were buying it at the store, stupid." Sheena said, rolling her eyes. Presea frowned at her maroon teammate.

"That's cause _you _sent me on that little adventure. Still, you think there's a shot?" pressed Presea.

"Maybe they'll give you Zelos's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog." Sheena said half-jokingly but with a sense of seriousness.

"Haha yeah, wait... you don't... you don't think they'd actually do that, do you?" Zelos asked nervously.

* * *

In the garage, Aska was trying to fix the Warthog with Sarge making vague, idiotic sugestions in his ear.

"Try connecting that hose to that metal thing over there. I think that's what's making that rattle." he said pointing to random parts. Without looking up, Aska cocks his pistol and pointed it right between Kratos's eyes.

"Uh.. I think I'll let you do it." he said, slowly backing away from the mechanic. Aska went back to work as if nothing was wrong. Lu, unseen to the naked eye, ran behind Sarge. Sarge felt a slight breeze.

"What the... What was that?" he said, turning around, seeing no one.

* * *

Zelos and the others were on top of the base, looking out for Blues. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a slight simmer.

"Hey Sheena, what's going on? What's over there?" he asked, pointing to the bottom edge of the base. Sheena peered over the edge. and saw the same simmer before it disappeared.

"I thought I saw something for a second." he told the others. Lu was flat against Red Base, waiting for the right moment to create havoc.

Sensing something was wrong, Zelos turned to Presea.

"Hey kid, put the flag somewhere safe until we can figure out what's goin' on."

"Good idea. I was sick of carrying this thing anyway." said Presea. She tossed the flag in the conveniently placed hole on top of their base. Suddenly a stone struck the roof right behind them. Zelos and Sheena turned and looked over the edge of the base for who threw the stone.

"Did you hear that?" Sheena asked.

"Yeah." said Zelos, eyes scanning the canyon.

"Hey! What's going on?" Presea whispered. She was quickly shushed. While the majority of the Reds were distracted, Lu threw a plasma grenade which adhered itself to the side of Presea's head.

Seeing something flash over and behind them, Zelos and Sheena turned.

"What the fuck?" said Zelos, seeing the grenade.

"What?" asked Presea, oblivious to the 17 ounces of high explosive plasma right next to his head.

"Umm... What is that thing?" asked Sheena.

"What thing?" Presea started to get scared.

"There's something on your head..." began Wilder.

"What, is it a spider? Get it off!"

"No, it's not a spider, it's, like a... blue thing." Sheena said.

"What, like a blue spider? Get it off!" Presea screamed, her terror rising to new heights.

"It's not a spider, calm down. It's some kinda, fuzzy pulsating thing." Zelos said.

"That doesn't sound much better than a spider." Presea said, getting a grip on her panic.

"Does it hurt?" Sheena asked.

"No..."

Sheena turned to Zelos and began to confer with him.

"Maybe we should try to take it off." she suggested.

Zelos agreed. "Good idea. go for it." he said.

"Me? By 'we' I meant 'you'. Asshole. Isn't the guy supposed to help a lady?" she said.

Presea butted in. "Well somebody needs to get it off. Look, it might be dangerous." she said. Suddenly the grenade detonated, almost killing her.

"Son of a bitch!" said Zelos and Sheena. The next thing they know, a black-armored figure was attacking them all ferociously.

* * *

"...man, he is really kicking their asses..." Genis said as he observed the battle through the sniper rifle with a fuming Lloyd.

"How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?" Genis lowered the aforementioned weapon.

"I'm really glad Lu is on our team and not theirs."

"Yeah, it sure makes things a lot easier for us."

"...I think switching Lu for Castagnier was a good trade..."

"It definitely seems like your killing him is starting to work out for us."

"Ya know, ya think so? You know, I was gonna say something but uh, well you know, uh... nuh...yeah..."

"Did Lu get to the base?"

Genis repositioned the weapon to take a peek. "Yep."

There was a flash at the bottom of the base and the flag magically appeared back in it's original place, before an extremely deep voice was heard.

"Blue team-flag returned." Lloyd's head snapped to look behind him. "What the hell? Who said that?"

"Sorry, that was me. I uh, I guess I had something stuck in my throat. Your flag is back, by the way."

"Hey...it's Castagnier." Genis's eyes lit up. The dead soldier couldn't help but smile a little.

"Yeah, it's me. Hey, Sage."

"Hey man, how's it going?"

"Sage..." Emil chuckled lightly, something they had never seen before. "I'm not really here to make small-talk, okay? I wanted to say nice job. So how'd you guys manage to get your flag back?" The living Blues exchanged glances, before Lloyd began to laugh with fake happiness.

"Wh, what? Oh, th, that flag? We've always had that."

"...Irving, come on man, who do you think you're trying to fool? ...wait, where's Lu?"

"I'm not really sure, he said he was gonna go to the store, something about uh, Elbow Grease?" Lloyd smiled nervously. Emil realized that they had let Lu go off to the red base.

"Oh...great. This is so typical! What was the _one_ thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?"

"That Flanoir Island is cold?" Genis guessed, waving his hands nervously.

"Ugh, what was the _other_ one thing I told you?"

"Not to let Lu get involved?" Lloyd muttered.

"Right. And what did you do?"

"We let him get involved.

"And not just a little involved, how involved?"

"Very, very involved..." Genis whimpered.

* * *

"Freeze!" Kratos shouted to Lu, shotgun aimed. Aska came and blocked the other way out of the room. "Drop your weapon." Seeing no other choice, the black-clad Freelancer complied and dropped all armaments.

"Hey buddy..."

"What."

"You really better hope the first one knocks me out." With no more encouragement needed, Kratos smacked Lu in the head with the butt of the Shotgun, effectively knocking him out.

"...ow" Zelos returned to the world of the living with bleary eyes.

"...my freakin' head..." He saw Sheena tending to Presea's head-wound.

"Zelos, she's hurt. She'll make it, but we need to get her some help, fast!"

"Wait, what's going on? First Combatir's head exploded, and then you fainted, and then some black thing showed up and started-" Sheena then stood up and interrupted.

"Whoa, wait, dude, I did not faint. Something knocked me out."

"Okay, fine, keep lying to yourself. Whatever helps you sleep at night." Sheena started to get irritated.

"...just go find Sarge. We need to get her out of here."

"Yeah, fine." he headed for the ramp. "I'm fine by the way. Thanks for asking."

"Whatever, nobody likes you anyway."

* * *

Genis looked through the rifle again and saw Zelos going inside of the base. "Yep, he's definitely captured... Or dead... Captured or dead..." then he gasped as if he had an epiphany. "...or captured AND dead!"

"Oh, well..." Emil pinched the bridge of his ghostly nose. "That's just perfect!" Lloyd finally got irritated and asked what the hell Emil's problem was with this.

"What? What is your problem?" Lloyd glared. "Why do you even care if he's captured, I thought you hated that guy anyway, for stealing your girlfriend?"

"I never said I hated Lu..." Emil started solemnly, then surprised the living Blues with his next words "...I just said that she was the reason why we never got married."

Genis blinked. "...she?"

* * *

"Sarge!" Sheena poked her head in from the sunroof on the base. "We need to get Combatir air-lifted out of here, pronto!"

"Could you put that in a memo, and file it under, 'shit that I already know!'" Kratos yelled and rolled eyes.

"Get on the horn with Command!" As Sheena left, a stirring noise was heard from Lu. This got the Sergeant's attention back on the captured soldier.

"Well, look who's up. Rise 'n' shine, buttercup."

Lu's helmet started to spark a few times, before the soldier decided to remove it. Kratos and Zelos we're not expecting what was before them, a blue-eyed girl with long, brown hair that reached down to past her stomach. She also had an odd, black symbol on the left side of her forehead. This soldier was Marta Lualdi.

"Oh great...thanks for breaking my voice filter, you cockbiting fucktards." The two 'fucktards' stood there in awe before Zelos recovered from the shock.

"OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! ONLY A CHICK COULD GIVE ME A HEADACHE THIS BIG!" Marta stared at the Reds for a seconds before finally speaking.

"What, have you guys never seen a girl before or something? My god how long have you been out here?"


	7. Shock and Recovery

Chapter 7

Shock and Recovery

"Wait, so let me get this straight," Lloyd continued after hearing a huge explanation from his dead partner. "You're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Sage and beat the hell out of the Reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?"

"In a nutshell, yeah. How did you guy's not see that Lu was a girl? I mean it is kind of a feminine name." Emil asked.

"It can also be a guy's name too, genius!"

"And you didn't notice the fact that she was almost a foot shorter then you, was kinda skinny, and the accentuated chest area didn't tip you off?

"Sage is short too. Plus she's wearing full body armor man! Although now that I think about it..."

"Don't even go there..."

"I should have known...she didn't like me. Girls NEVER like me." Genis frowned.

"Sage, I don't think anybody likes you."

"...I like me..."

"I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure she's a chick? And not a guy? Or like, part guy, part shark?"

"I'm pretty sure I'd know if she was a guy. And I'm DEFINITELY sure I would know if she was part shark!"

"Wait, just one thing, if she's a girl, then why do you call her Lu?" Genis asked.

"Her real name is Marta Lualdi. It's the first two letters in her last name, and when I met her, she had moved from Luin."

"...seriously? THAT'S your reasoning?"

"Trust me dude, it makes sense. And look, you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with."

"Right. You should blame God. First He makes hangovers, and now, half women, half sharks that won't sleep with me." Lloyd shook his fist dramatically to the sky. "Thanks for nothing, God!"

"Shut up! Look, she got recruited in to some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where they infused her armor and mind with this really aggressive AI called a Centurion. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell."

"...A...I...what does the A stand for?" Genis asked, hand raised.

"Artificial."

"...and what's the I-"

"Intelligence."

"...oooooooh what's the A again?"

"Let's move on."

"So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?" Lloyd said and smiled.

"Oh HELL no!" Emil said incredulously. "I mean she's nicer than that in reality, but she's always been kind of a rotten bitch. It's just now she's a full-blown rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements."

"Wow, nevermind them. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there buddy, she's a keeper!" Lloyd laughed.

"Shut the hell up. How're you doing, Sage? Are you following any of this?" Emil asked, walking over to his not-so-bright counterpart.

"...I think so...that Lu guy is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend, so that makes you...a gay robot." Emil would've facepalmed himself if he could actually feel it.

"...yes. Sage. I am a gay robot."

* * *

Meanwhile, Zelos and Sheena we're guarding Marta back at the Red Base. Zelos decided to play with Marta since she was their prisoner and began to taunt her.

"So you're a girl, eh? Pretty frail-lookin' to be out here." The only response he got was a death glare that would make most men run home to their mother's in fear.

"Just ignore him, Lualdi. That's what I do." Sheena rolled her eyes.

"Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapons and everything, are you?" Zelos teased.

"Hey pretty boy, I don't need a weapon to kill you."

"Uh-huh. What're you gonna do, punch me?"

Marta launched her fist barely an inch from Zelos's face, and, by reflex, he jumped back.

"Hey, not the face!"

* * *

"Well don't worry, because I have a great plan for how we're gonna rescue her." Emil said determined.

"A plan? God, I hate plans! That means we're gonna have to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy or...a mission statement?"

"I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring Marta."

"Distraction? ...that sounds like 'decoy!'" Genis stated nervously.

"The way I see it, the Reds have absolutely no idea how many freelancers we have out here. So all I need from the two of you is to run around in the middle of the canyon, wearing black armor, while I sneak in the back of the base and get her out."

"Not a bad plan, but one thing. Where are we gonna get two set's of black armor?" Lloyd asked.

Smiling, Emil pointed at the teleporter.

"...oh, fuckberries."

* * *

Emil materialized to the other side where the other part of the teleporter was to meet up with Lloyd, who had just run through the teleporter, fully armored and covered in the black stuff.

"You okay, Irving?" Emil asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. Come on, Sage!" Genis shook in fear at the green light.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not at all!" This was convincing enough for Genis.

"Here I come, then!" He went head-first into the spinning light.

"...does it hurt for real?"

"Oh yeah. Big time."

The green light at the other side formed into a human shape, spitting out Genis, with his own armor now coated in char. He wailed in pain. "OH MY GOD! THAT HURTS!" He then gave Lloyd a look worthy of the phrase 'If looks could kill'. "You lied to me..."

* * *

"Ah...dammit." Kratos crossed his arms, aggravated.

"Hey Aska, come here. Do you see something out there?" Aska had no need for a sniper rifle with his built-in zoom feature. Focusing his eyes, he nodded at his creator.

Inside the base, the childhood "friends" had another argument while making sure Marta didn't go anywhere.

"There's no L in it, it's pronounced both," Sheena frowned.

"That's what I'm saying. Bolth."

"Both."

"...you sound like such an _ass_the way you say it."

"Hey lovebirds! Quit your arguing and get up here. There's more Special Ops soldiers coming our way." Kratos yelled into the base.

"...as in more than one? Uh, maybe we should bolthgo, sir."

"BOTH!"

"Seriously Sheena, like an _ass_."

"Well, well. Another brilliant idea from the think-tank." Kratos's jaw tensed. "Why don't you both come up? Leave the prisoner alone. We could just put her on the honor system, have her guard herself."

"...good point, sir..."

"YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT IT IS!" The volume once again was startling. "Now get your ass up here, we got just enough time for me to spray-paint the bull's-eye on your back...ah, by bull's-eye I of course mean camouflage. Now move it, cupcake."

"Yeah." Zelos then added with venom, "I'll be right up."

* * *

At this point, Emil had gotten a radio set up, and was somehow holding a ghostly sniper rifle.

"Hey Irving, come in, are you there? This is Castagnier, it's working. The orange one with the red hair is coming out of the base. I repeat, orange one is coming out of the base."

From the other end of the canyon, secured behind a rock, Lloyd nodded. "Roger that."

"Oh! Irving! Is that Castagnier?" Genis asked excitedly.

"Okay, now just keep moving around the outside of the base and draw their-"

Genis drowned out Emil by requesting "Tell him I said hi!"

"Wait," Lloyd held his hand out in front of the rookie, "What? I missed that, Sage was talking to me." He quickly looked to the more excited rookie. "Shut up dude, I'm on the radio."

Emil coughed. "I said, just keep-"

"I'm not yelling, I'm just telling you to let me finish talking to Castagnier. ...No, I'll tell him you said 'hi' later. No, you can't talk to him. How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?" Emil had enough and severed the connection.

"Oh my God, I can't believe I actually died for this war." Emil stood back up once he lowered the rifle. It was time to sneak his way across the canyon.

* * *

"I don't see any...yup, there's one." Zelos watched one of the black-armored soldiers come out from behind the rock, only to stop and stare at it. "...why's he just standing there?"

"Sage, get behind the rock. They can still see you."

"They can't see me. I can't see them!"

"That's because you're facing the rock."

Genis looked behind her. "Oh. Right." He joined Lloyd once more behind the rock.

"Real smooth, dipshit."

* * *

"They're definitely Special Ops. I haven't seen such coordinated movements since my days on Flano- HEEGAGURKURK!" Kratos shuddered, his words catching in his throat as Emil took over his body.

"...you okay?" Zelos raised a brow.

"...you talking to me?"

"No, I'm talking to Aska. Because that's real rewarding."

Aska swung his fist at Zelos, barely missing.

"...oh, uh, well, I'm fine, that's...I'm just so mad about, these uh, god damn Blues out here. I'm so God damn mad, I could spit! I could spit blood!" Emil did indeed spit blood from his mouth-a little more than he was hoping, in that it ran down his mouth as if he were punched in the jaw, but still blood. It was a trick he had learned way back in the day from Marta, in high school. It ended up being a neat, but painful, party trick.

"...sir, did you just spit blood?"

"Yes. I did."

"...permission to speak freely?"

"Go for it."

"That's really fucking gross."

* * *

"Hey Irving?"

"What?"

"I'm having fun."

"That's great, Sage." Lloyd responded in a very annoyed tone.

"Yeah, it's like we're real soldiers!"

"...please go hide behind another rock."

* * *

"Hey man," Emil, still inside of Kratos's body, waved at Sheena.

"Uh...hey. What's going on out there, sir?"

"What's uh...why, nothin'. Why would you ask if something's wrong?"

"...it's a perfectly normal question during wartime, sir."

"Yeah well, I don't know. You're starting to act kinda suspicious there...Red girl. So I'm keeping my eye on you."

There was a couple-second pause. "Sir, is that blood on your-"

Emil used this opportunity to whip Sheena with her pistol, knocking her over.

"What the hell is going on here?" Marta jumped to her feet.

"Marta! It's me, Emil! I've come to rescue you."

"...you're kinda tall to be Emil."

"...oh, right." Emil split himself from Kratos's body.

"-hurk! What the-" He wiped his lip. "Who punched me in the jaw?"

"Marta, there's not much time to explain, so I'm just gonna give you the summary here, okay? I'm a spirit now, and I'm trapped in the physical world. I possessed this Red dude, so that I could sneak in to the base and rescue you, while the rest of our guys run around out in the middle of the canyon, dressed in black armor, that they got from going through the teleporter."

"..." Marta shrugged. "Mmkay."

"...what...that's it? Okay? You're not surprised by any of this?"

"No, it all makes sense."

"...not even the whole 'Emil is a ghost' thing? That didn't do anything for ya?"

Marta smirked. "I can see right through you, it's pretty obvious."

"Okay, well, let me hop back into this guy and we'll get outta here." The spirit drifted back into the Sergeant, taking the freelancer and heading for the exit.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Lloyd asked, trying to peek into Genis's sniper rifle.

"One of the Reds has Lualdi. I'm going to shoot him, and kill him, and free Lualdi. Then Castagnier will forgive me for killing him, and we will be friends."

"...you don't actually believe that, do you?" Lloyd raised a brow.

"Ohh, we're gonna be best friends!"

* * *

"Alright, Marta, I'll make one more distraction, then you run up to the teleporter and escape. On three. Ready?"

Marta nodded.

"One...two...three!" On cue, the body dropped to the ground. "What the-where did my body go?" The dead Blue spotted Genis with the sniper rifle. "...oh you have **GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME**!"

Genis pointed at Lloyd. "Irving did it!"


	8. Death, Resurrection, Español

Chapter 8

Death, Resurrection, Español

For miles, there was nothing but fog, coating whatever was around the Sergeant. The only sensations he felt were the stiff breeze causing his lengthy auburn hair to drift and the grass beneath his feet.

"Hello?" his voice echoed. "Hello? I said, hello?"

Nothing.

"Is anybody out here?" Suddenly, he heard another voice.

"Holy cow, would you stop yelling? I'm here!" Emil appeared by him.

"What is this place?" Kratos asked, wary.

"Well, that's..." Emil began. "That's kind of hard to explain. Uh...yeah, you were shot in the head, buddy." he gestured to the fog surrounding them, "So, here you are."

"...am I dead?" The Sergeant's brows furrowed.

"Are you dead? Well duh. That's how I ended up here."

"...are you some kind of angel?" he suddenly inquired.

This stirred up a small laughter from the conversation's other participant. "Ahaha...am I an angel..." But an idea hit him. "Uh, yeah, actually." he cleared his throat. "I am. I am an angel. So ah...you want to get to heaven?" he held up his open palm. "Because it's, like, ten bucks to get in."

Kratos patted his armor down. "Well uh...I didn't really bring any, I mean, my wallet's back in the car."

"Don't have any money, huh." Emil shrugged. "Well uh, that's too bad. Pretty crappy reason to be damned to Hell for an eternity."

"Hey wait, I don't remember dying! You could be fucking with me."

"Yeah..." Emil scratched the back of his head a bit sheepishly. "Yeah, that's kinda my fault too. I was sort of possessing your body at the time you were shot. Sorry about that."

"Hey wait, that ain't fair!"

"Not fair?" The deceased private shot a venomous glare. "Yeah, join the frickin' club. I got shot by my own tank!"

A turret emerged from the fog. "Target locked."

"Oh ha ha. Very funny, Luna. Shut up. I still haven't forgiven you, you know! I didn't say you could talk to me yet. Get out of here. Shoo!"

Luna's turret lowered in an almost shameful manner as the sound of moving treads were heard.

* * *

"Sarge!" Zelos was on his knees, shaking the dead Sergeant. "Don't you give up on me, soldier! I'm ordering you!"

* * *

"Who is that?" Kratos said, hearing the echoes of their words.

"Looks like your guys are trying to save you."

* * *

"You gotta breathe, man! You gotta pull through! Come on, Sarge!" Zelos yelled smacking the body with the butt of the shotgun.

* * *

"That is not the way you were trained to do that, Private!' Kratos yelled.

"They can't hear you.."

* * *

"Zelos , this isn't working. We have to try something else." Sheena said.

* * *

"If he gives you mouth-to-mouth, I'm leaving."

* * *

"Maybe we should give him mouth-to-mouth."

* * *

"I'm leaving."

Kratos watched on, smile on his face. "I can't believe how hard they're trying to save me..."

"Why wouldn't they? I mean..." Emil glared off to the side. "My team didn't, but why wouldn't yours?"

"I always thought they didn't like me."

"Aw...don't sell yourself short,man. I don't even know ya, and here I am about to guide you to heaven for only five bucks."

"...hold on." Kratos looked at Emil. "If you're an angel, where the hell's your wings?"

"Because nobody rang a bell," Emil explained, chuckling at his own joke. But his face returned to normal soon enough. "Seriously, do you have the money or don't you?"

"I feel the worst about Wilder. I always made fun of him. I never told him that...that he was my son."

"No way, that guy with the long red hair is your son?

"Nah, I just wanted to screw with him one last time. Now I won't ever be able to get that chance..."

* * *

"He's breathing! Sheena, we saved Sarge!"

* * *

"I'm what?" Kratos was shocked.

"He's what?"

Kratos stretched out his arms, fading into the fog. "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle! They saved me."

"Hey! Wait! Come back, we need to even the sides!" Emil shouted, arm outstretched.

"Thanks for your help, wingless angel man! Will I remember any of this?"

"Yes, but only if you give me two dollars!"

* * *

In a daze, the Sergeant was able to sit himself up. "Ugh, oh my god ...wait, what happened here?"

"Sir, you got shot in the head so we have you CPR and saved you." Sheena told the newly-awakened Kratos.

He then got to his feet. "I always believed in you, Fujibayashi."

"...actually, it's Zelos you should thank. He did all the work." Sheena smiled.

"...Wilder?"

Zelos nodded.

Kratos pinched the bridge of his nose. "Wilder, why the hell would you give someone CPR for a BULLET WOUND IN THE HEAD?" He stomped towards the Private. "It doesn't make a lick of sense!"

Zelos sighed. "...you're welcome."

"I mean it's all so damn inconsistent. What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe, rub my neck with aloe vera? Hey there, Wilder! I think I feel an aneurysm comin' on. Could you help me out with one of them therapeutic massages?"

"Ungrateful bastard..." Zelos said under his breath.

* * *

Days passed before Presea Combatir returned, but something was...different. Her hair was now in two pigtails that extended to the side, and to top it off, her hair color had been changed from red to pink. Her new armor even matched her hair. "Dude, this is sweet! Command was so happy that I got the Blue flag, they gave me my own color armor!"

The two other Red privates exchanged glances before Zelos spoke up. "Er...Combatir..."

"Yeah?"

Sheena pointed. "About that armor..."

"What about it?" Presea raised an eyebrow.

"And the hair...uh...it's...it's a little...Zelos, help me out here."

"It's _pink_. Your armor and your hair are freakin' pink."

"Yeah, that's it." Sheena frowned. "Pink."

"Pink? I may be a girl, but my armor's not pink! And neither is my hair."

"Pink."

"Oh, yeah." Sheena nodded. "Definitely pink..."

"You guys are colorblind! Why would they put me into surgery, give me pink hair and pink armor to go with it?"

"To make it look like you got hit by the cotton candy train!" Zelos and Sheena laughed.

"Hahaha that's not funny dude," Sheena tried to control her laughter, albeit very badly.

Zelos's laughter continued. "It's a little funny, you're laughing too."

"Look, it's not pink, guys. It's...lightish red." She folded her arms.

Zelos sighed. "Guess what? They already have a color for lightish red. You know what it's called? Pink."

"You guys suck!"

Kratos moved his way up the ramp, Aska following behind him. "Well hello, dirtbags! ...and a good day to you, little missy."

"It's light red!" Presea protested.

"Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie. Do you have a package for me?"

Presea nodded eagerly, picking up the small box she had set aside. "They said this speech unit should work with Aska."

"Speech unit?" Zelos frowned.

Presea handed it to Kratos.

"Affirmative." Kratos inspected the box. "Command was fresh out of speech modules when I first started building Aska, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to...no offense, Fujibayashi." Kratos said, removing the components from the box.

"Oh don't worry, I know who you meant, sir!" Sheena smiled, flipping her hair back.

"Wait, Aska is a robot?" Zelos asked.

"...duh. You didn't notice that he never talked?"

"I just thought he was a really quiet guy..."

"And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil every day didn't get your attention," Kratos glarred.

"I...I did think that was odd...I thought he was just trying to impress me."

"You're an idiot." Sheena snorted. "Oh, wait, Sarge, you should really ground yourself before handling that card. The static electricity could damage it."

Kratos sneered. "Come on. That's an urban legend they use to sell those stupid bracelets. And I suppose pop rocks and soda's gonna make my stomach blow up!" An electrical spark went off as he inserted the card. "OW!"

"Sir...I won't say I told you so, sir."

"Good." Kratos stood up. "I'd hate to make Strawberry Shortcake here my new favorite Private."

"It's not pink, it's light red!" Presea screamed.

* * *

Genis set aside the sponge momentarily, exhausted by the attempts to clean the armor. "Ah, man, uh, you know, this stuff does not come off of armor easy?"

"Yeah." Lloyd continued to work at his own set of armor. "This was a lot easier when it was just my armor.

"Yeah, I know that, that's,I think because, you know, uh, you didn't **DO anything**!" Genis yelled.

"I'm sorry, what? It's kind of hard to hear you over the sound of your **constant team-killing**."

"Both of those we're accidents! With you I don't mind doing it on purpose..." Genis threatened, though Lloyd wasn't intimidated in the slightest.

* * *

"So...what happened to me, anyway? I recall a spider on my head..." Presea began twirling one of her pigtails around her finger.

"Right, that was a grenade," explained Zelos.

"And the last thing I remember, is a loud bang, and then Fujibayashi fainting..."

"Ha!" Zelos looked back at Sheena. "Told you so."

"I did _not_ faint!" Sheena protested.

"Done and done!" Kratos announced, rising to his feet. "Aska. Activate speech unit!"

A whirl. "Buenos días. Y la gracias da por activar mi función del discurso. Soy el número de modelo cero uno cero uno uno tres cuatro ocho ocho dos tres."

Presea blinked. "Am I the only one not understanding any of this?"

"Me llamo es Aska."

"Aska! He just said Aska!" Zelos clenched his fist in victory. "I understood that. I can speak Spanish!"

"Aska. Speak. English."

"Mi procesador Inglés ha funcionado incorrectamente. Sé hablar solamente Español."

"Huh...I think you shorted out his speech unit with that static, sir," Sheena frowned.

"Maybe Princess Peach here picked up the wrong model."

"For the last time dude. Not pink."

"Aska. I order you to speak a language we understand."

Aska shook his head. "Negativo."

"Well this is just great. Aska. How, do, we, fix, your, speech, unit."

"Why are you talking so slow?" Zelos asked. "He understands us just fine. Maybe you should try listening slower."

"...Aska, would you like to shoot Wilder?"

"Sí, señor. Gracias."

"Hey wait, stop! Uh, alto, alto!"

Sheena laughed. "Alto means 'tall', you dumbass."

"Then why do they put it on stop signs?


	9. New Member, New Plan, New Problem

Chapter 9

New member, new plan, new problem

Season Finale

Lloyd and Genis stood near a rock in the middle of Blood Gulch, watching Emil and Marta argue with each other.

"Look." Marta was saying. "As far as I'm concerned, we're square."

"I saved you from a life of imprisonment. How the hell are you square with me?" Emil retorted.

"Because _I_ didn't kill _you_ back at Flanoir Island."

"You know, I really don't see how not KILLING somebody is technically the same thing as doing them a FAVOR."

"Well…" Marta said thoughtfully. "If you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now."

"No you can't!" Emil cried triumphantly. "I'm already dead bitch. So I guess the joke's on you."

Finally, Genis couldn't take it anymore and flipped shit on both of them. "Stop it!" He screamed. "Stop fighting! Can't you see you're tearing us apart?" He then turned to Marta. "What about us?"

Marta looked at Genis. "What ABOUT you?"

"We helped you too!" Genis said, in a somewhat quieter voice. "And what do we get? NOTHING!"

"Well…yeah but..."

"But nothing." Emil cut in. "I don't like him, but he's got a point."

"I did help them get their flag back." Marta argued.

"Yeah, but you were PAID to do that. We rescued you as a favor." Lloyd said. "We could've just let you rot in the Red Army Prison for the rest of your life. It wouldn't have made any difference to us."

"Oh fine." Marta said giving. "Tell you what. I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing. As soon as I have, I'm outta here. Deal?"

"What do you guys say?" Emil asked his teammates. Lloyd and Genis mulled this over for a second, then both nodded their heads.

"Sounds good to me. Welcome to the team Lualdi." Lloyd high fived Marta, glad they now another real teammate, even if it is a mercenary.

"Thanks. So what do you need me to do?"

"I have no idea." Lloyd said. "If you knew how to fix a tank, I'd have you do that."

"Hmm… okay then." Marta shrugged.

"Wait… you know how to fix Luna?" Genis asked. Marta stood there looking at Genis as if he just asked the dumbest question on the planet. Genis finally took the hint. "I love you…"

* * *

"Entonces la décias ''tu nos pesos más, yo peso más.' Entonces pusieron los de nuestros cuerpos sobre la escala y fue determinado quién tenía el peso más grande. Después de eso me llamarían Aska la Pesado."

Zelos couldn't help but groan. "Oh my god, first he doesn't talk at all, now we can't get him to shut up. Sheena what's he saying?"

Sheena looked at him confused. "What the hell are you asking me for?"

"Well, you know, because you're of, uh, a Latino persuasion, right?"

"Fujibayashi isn't a Spanish name, idiot. I'm half-Japanese."

"But i thought you..."

"What?"

Zelos gave up. "Eh nevermind."

"I'm from Ozette!" chimed Presea.

"Nobody cares!"

* * *

"Okay, take it easy, guys," Emil said. "When I was over at the Red base, I saw that they've already got their jeep fixed. So whatever you do, don't let 'em see us before we get Luna back online."

"Okay," Genis said. "Even if we get Luna fixed, how the hell are we gonna turn her over? I mean it's not like we can just lift-"

Within seconds, Marta managed to grab the side of the hefty piece of equipment and slam it onto its (or rather, her) treads.

"Holy crap she's strong."

"Alright, since I'm the one least visible, I'm going to head up to higher ground to keep an eye on the Reds. I'll tell you guys if I spot anything."

"Oh! Castagnier, can I come with?"

"That kind of defeats the purpose, Sage."

"...what if I'm really, _really_ quiet?"

"Do you even understand what the term 'visibility' means?"

"Ahahaha...good one, man..."

"Seriously. You don't know what it means, do you."

"...No..."

"Look, don't hurt yourself or anything. Stay here and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that." Emil moved his way to a hill.

"Tell us if you see any movement," Lloyd called, moving over to Marta, who was welding the tank. "Hey, I suppose if you're helping us, you're not as mean as I thought." He grinned.

"I wouldn't say I'm mean. I just get hired to do mean things."

"Yeah, but you like it."

"Well, I think it's important to enjoy what you do, y'know?"

Lloyd pondered this for a moment. "Soooo let's say I paid you to kill Sage. You would still do it, right? Even though you're supposed to be helping us?"

"...ok is this a hypothetical discussion, or should we start talking numbers?" Marta grinned, mainly just to mess with Lloyd.

"Yeah, I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"Hey, Irving!" came the irritated Emil.

"What?"

"What the hell is my body still doing up here?"

"That's part of being dead, Castagnier! Your body doesn't really move around much anymore. Maybe you haven't fully grapsed that concept yet!" Emil looked like he was ready to kill something 60 times over.

"Ugh, ok let me rephrase that for you...why in the HELL haven't you buried me yet?"

"Buried? With what? All we have are pistols and rifles. What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave?"

"Well then how about shipping me back home? You know, let the loved ones pay a little respect!"

"Well, Castagnier, here's your girlfriend. Lualdi, as one of Emil's loved ones, would you like to pay your respects?"

Marta, who had turned to listen to the conversation, nonchalantly turned back to the tank.

"That was a stirring eulogy. Rest in peace, good buddy!"

Emil was still looking at his dead body, when Lloyd and Genis came up to check on him. The body wasn't badly decomposed yet but, "I am not happy with this."

"I have an idea." Genis proposed.

No response.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!"

"We heard you the first time, Sage, we were just ignoring you," Lloyd explained.

Genis ignored this. "Since you possessed that red dude, and took control of him, why don't you just possess your own body?" He seemed oddly proud of his idea.

Of course, nobody was impressed. "Oh, I see. So that way I would be living inside my own dead body?"

"Uh-huh."

"Unable to move, just, laying there, rotting in the sun for all eternity."

"Yes."

"...okay, Sage, I'll be sure to get right onto that..." Emil's tone went extremely off the sarcasm charts.

"...you're a mean ghost."

"Dude, you stink," Lloyd added, holding his nose.

"What?"

"Your body, it stinks."

"Irving, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body."

"Quit your bitching, nothing's going to happen to it!"

"It's a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for this army, and it _deserves_ to be laid to rest."

"Get over it!" Lloyd rolled his eyes. "You're already dead. What's the worst that could happen now?"

"Hey Castagnier! Look! Birds! ...why are they flying around in circles?"

"Oh dear god..." Emil hung his head low.

* * *

"Okay, I'll go again." Zelos nodded. "I spy something, that begins with..."

"Dirt," Sheena stated flatly.

"Dammit! How did you know?"

"Well, because you did rock last time. That's all that's out here, is rock and dirt."

"...yeah, this canyon sucks."

* * *

"How long do you figure until she fixes the tank?" Emil said to Lloyd.

"Not much longer, she said it's going pretty well. The gun's almost working, and then she'll get it moving again."

"Oh that's_ fantastic_."

"Why would that upset you?"

"Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it against the Reds, and they're all gonna die."

"The Reds dying is a _good _thing."

"No, Irving, it's _not _a good thing. As soon as we beat the Reds, Marta is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that damn Centurion A.I. out of her head."

"A.I..."

"Shut up, Sage. ...and if I don't get it out before she leaves..."

"You won't ever find her again?" Lloyd finished.

"Right."

"So what're you gonna do?"

"I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do. I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank." Emil hung his down a bit at the thought of helping the enemy.

"Wait, you're switching sides?"

"Sorry, dude, I don't have a choice."

"Castagnier, uh...what, what happens when the Reds out here, stop Lualdi, and then they come also with guns, and they find us?"

"I'll try to help you as best I can. Good luck you guys" Emil faded from sight.

"Does this mean I should try to kill Castagnier now?"

"I tell you what..." Lloyd sighed. "Kill me. I promise not to come back."

Genis picks his sniper rifle up and looks through the scope to see what's going on at the Red Base and notices a really attractive looking girl with pink armor and hair down by the Warthog.

"Holy crap! HEY IRVING CHECK THIS OUT! THEY GOT A GIRL!"

"No. And I already know. That maroon chick. She's been here for years." Lloyd stated.

"No, no, no! Not her. Different girl. She's cute as hell man. She's a 10 out of 10!"

"What?"

Genis gave him a look through the scope. "Look, pink armor and hair on the right side by the jeep. You see her?"

"Holy crap man you're right. She's a 10! Why don't we have a girl like that?"

"Umm... you guys do realize that I'm a chick, right? And that I'm standin' right down here?" Marta called up to them, who apparently had heard their conversation. Lloyd and Genis looked down to see Marta with her arms crossed, looking right back up at them.

"Yeah Lualdi, but when we say a girl, we mean a girl-girl." That was probably not the best thing for him to say, cause at that instant, Marta pulled her handgun out and aimed at Lloyd, dead between the eyes.

"And what the hell does THAT mean?" Lloyd instantly regretted saying that, and so him and Genis did the one thing a man will do when they piss off a woman and don't want to deal with the consequences...

"NOTHING!" They hid back up on the cliff out of eyesight of Marta. Lloyd then thought of something.

"Wait a second. If she heard that, do you think she heard Castagnier's secret plan to warn the Reds about her?"

"I don't know... but I think I know how to find out."

He looks back down to see Marta welding again. "Hey Lualdi, umm... you didn't hear anything we were talking about earlier like... oh I don't know... Castagnier's secret plan to tell the Reds that you were fixing the tank or something right?" Marta turned to look at the idiot for a second before going back to her work.

"I don't think she knows...Unless she can read minds... She can't read minds, can she? ...Can you hear what I'm thinking?" Lloyd facepalmed himself.

"I'm gonna guess...nothing"

* * *

"Hey."

"Yeah?" Zelos looked up at Sheena from his laying-down position.

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

"No. I never, _ever _wonder why we're here. Semper Fi, bitch."

As Emil drifted into Aska, Aska made a monotonous gurgling noise.

"Huh? What's wrong with Aska?" Sheena asked.

"I don't care," Zelos said flatly.

"Hey, Aska, are you alright?

"Aye, muchachos, necesité darle... un aviso... "(Guys, I need to give you...a...warning...) Emil grabbed at his throat. "¿Qué? ¿Por qué estoy el hablar en español? ¡Yo no puedo hablar español!" (What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I don't know Spanish!)

"Um...sure."

"¡No, no, escucha mé! ¡La bruja teva a matar! ¡Ella está travajando en la tanque!"(No, listen to me! The mean woman is going to kill you! She is fixing the tank!)

* * *

"Ah, crap..." Lloyd sighed. "Sage, she's almost done fixing Luna. I better get ahold of Castagnier and tell him whats happening."

Genis started jumping up and down like an excited kid. "Oh oh oh! Irving please, Irving, Irving, Irving, Irving, Irving, please-"

"Yes, you can be the one who radios Castagnier."

"Thanks man!" Genis activated his radio earpiece. "Calling Castagnier. Come in Castagnier. This is your close and personal friend, Private Tenebrae."

"Tenebrae? You said your name was Sage."

"I never said that, you guys did!"

"What? Why didn't you correct us, then?"

"Because I didn't want to be difficult!" Genis went back to the radio. "Come in Private Castagnier. Soldier unit Lualdi almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified. Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness." Genis cleared his throat. "How is your progression?"

"¡Sage! ¡Nadie aquí está escuchando mí! ¡No mas puedo hablar español!" (Sage! No one here is listening to me! I can only speak Spanish for some reason!)

Genis's face showed a mix of surprise and confusion, but he quickly reached the conclusion that this coversation wasn't going anywhere. "...yeah he says he wants to talk to you..."

Then came Luna. "Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank."

"Shit," Lloyd cursed under his breath, "We got trouble."

* * *

"Un tanque..." Emil signaled with his hands that what he was talking about was massive in size, "Grrrande!"

"Hey, I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak the language," Zelos stated, rolling his eyes.

"What country?" Sheena leaned her head back. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

"What're you, a Communist?"

That's when the missle decided to make friends with the base, causing, of course, a blast of a nice size.

With a "boom" and everything.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"¡MADRE DE DIOS!"

* * *

"Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people what's going on through that sniper rifle," Lloyd complained, placed next to Genis on the top of the ledge of Emil's body.

The other guy pouted. "Castagnier is getting mad at us."

"Well that's a nice change of pace."

* * *

Knowing an attack was coming, Kratos hopped into the jeep. "Fujibayashi! I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by!"

"Roger that!" Sheena saluted.

"I'll uh...I'll stay here."

"Yeah." Sheena glared. "Stay here and guard the cement ramp. It's _vital_ to our success."

As promised, Kratos skidded around to the front of the base and stopped long enough to let the raven-haired private jump off the base roof and land herself onto the back of jeep.

"Alright, I'm on board!"

"Alright, here's the plan-"

Of course, missile met jeep before any words could come from Kratos's mouth. "JUNEBUG!"

Now that the Warthog was broken, again, the two Reds made a break for it to the secured ramp.

"Wow, back so soon?" Zelos cracked a smile. "You guys win the war already?"

"Yeah...Sarge, did you want to finish telling us the plan now?"

"If we survive this..." Kratos's eyes were filled with nothing but pure evil, "I'm going to kill both of ya...slowly."

Zelos leaned towards Sheena, whispering, "Uh, hey, Sheena? By the way, the ramp is secure."

There was another shot from the blast-happy Luna.

Presea came up from the ramp on the side of the base from the inside. "Hey, what're you guys doin' up here?"

"The chick in the black armor's back!" Zelos called.

"What chick, the one that stuck the grenade to my head?"

Sheena confirmed this with a nod.

"Oh...I've been waiting for this!" Presea walked over to the edge of the base. "Hey bitch!" She darted to the edge, sliding a grenade from her pocket. "Remember me? I saved something for ya!"

She threw a plasma grenade more then halfway across the canyon, with everyone following the arc in the air with their eyes.

* * *

"Man that girl's got a really good throwing arm." Lloyd was impressed.

* * *

Unfortunately for Marta, it managed to go right through the canopy for the tank and land right on her chest.

"Ah crap!"

Back at the edge of the base, Presea felt like a god, and decided to brag."HAHA! Three points, you dirty whore!"

The grenade succesfully caused a blast, disabling the tank and mortally wounding Marta.

"¡Dios mío, NO!" Emil skidded from the base top to his injured ex. "¡Marta, Marta!"

"Uh..." Zelos's brow quivered. "Where's Aska going?"

"To fight the enemy, head on, in hand to hand combat. Mano e mano. What a brave little compadre." Kratos saluted the charging Emil. "Aska, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing. You hated Wilder, and that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amigo... adios."

"Shouldn't we help him?" Sheena asked.

"Nah..." Kratos smirked. "That'd just ruin the moment."

* * *

Panting, Emil managed to make it down the hill to the bleeding Marta to pop the tank's hatch open and pull her out.

"Emil, is that you...? It's..." Marta coughed. "It's gone, Emil. The Centurion is gone..." With the last of her strength, she moved her hair to show her forehead, which was missing the black symbol it previously had. "...thank you..." Her eyes shut for one last time.

* * *

"Crap. Emil is gonna be pissed, and now he's got a body to kick our ass. C'mon, Sage, let's get back to base."

"I told you already, my name isn't Sage." His voice lowered to a menacing tone. "My name... is Tenebrae."

* * *

_That wraps up the first season. So what did you guys think? Like it? Hate it? Comments? You know the drill. Review it and leave me your thoughts. Depending on how I feel, I might do the second season too. Thanks for reading you guys!_


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